emotional distress

He's no longer missing/lost without a trace. At least he has fulfilled his promises for now. Maybe in two weeks time he'll be gone again though. Cross my finger that it wasn't because of what I did.

Anyway, for no apparent reason I was in an emotional distress yesterday. I woke up to a sore body and a trouble mind.

I cried a lot too.

Which something that I am not used to.

I cried because I miss my grandad.

I cried because for the first time I learn how it feels to really miss somebody.

I cried because I wish some misunderstanding can be rectified.

I cried because I realized I need an intervention.

But I cried the hardest because I know what I am getting myself in to but am helpless to do anything about it.

... I guess I was lying about the 'no apparent reason'.

Gosh I really need some good sleep. I only slept for one hour last night and I need to drive all the way to Sepang and back again today. Then have to stay up for the Brazilian GP (Go Alonso! Go!) before commit myself to pitstop. Which mean I only have around 2 hours worth of sleep tomorrow since I'll be off picking up my son (yes I'm gonna be a mom!) at 7am.

p/s: I'll be composed as usual for today's trip. Just a minor glitch in my life so don't make that face, CJ.

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Hilang tanpa pesan

Jauh perjalanan
Mencari intan pujaan
Aduhai dimana Tuan
Mengapa pergi tanpa pamitan

Lembah kuturuni
Bukit nan tinggi kudaki
Aduhai tak kunjung jumpa
Mengapa hilang tak tentu rimba

Laut hempaskanku padanya
Bintang tunjukkan arah
Oh angin bisikanlah mana dia

Hati cemas bimbang
Harapan timbul tenggelam
Aduhai permata hati
Mungkinkah kelak bersua lagi



p/s: Not another broken promises, eh dear?

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5 centimeters per second

5 centimeters per second, that's the speed at which cherry blossom fall.

One of the most romantic film I had ever seen. It is a pretty much serious story about two people, Tono Takaki and Shinohara Akari who had been friends since primary school but gradually grow farther apart as time moves on.

They were practically inseparable when they were kids but they become separated when Akari's family moves away. Their deep feelings for each other keep them continue to stay in touch through letters.

But as life continues to unfold, they wonder if they would have the chance to meet again. So one day Takaki decides to visit Akari before he himself moves away to Tanegashima with his family which would mean that they'll be farther apart.

On the day of the visit, snow begin to fall. This caused delays for the train that Takaki boarded. They were supposed to meet at 6pm but because of the delay, it wasn't until almost 10pm that Takaki finally arrived at the designated station. On his way, when the clock passes 6pm, Takaki wishes that Akari will not wait for him but in his heart he longs to meet her.

So when he reached the station, Akari was there, still waiting patiently for him. This then begins the part where I think touches me the most. The love they had for each other and the realization that they probably could have never meet again makes me feel quite melancholy.

Anyway this is only the first part of the film, Ōkashō. The film consists of three segments. I let you guys explore the other two episodes of Cosmonaut and Byōsoku 5 Centimeter yourself.

I absolutely love it.

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I've been tagged

This is the first time i've been tagged. Thanks to wan pablo (couldn't wait to read about your trip btw).

So here goes...

5 things in my bag:
- Braun Buffel purse
- Anna Karenina's book that I'm currently reading
- house keys
- toothbrush (you gotta carry this everywhere if you are wearing braces)
- handphones

5 things in my wallet:
- the usual cards
- receipts from my dentist trip
- my dentist appointment card
- an angpau that is yet to be opened (for rainy days)
- few malaysian ringgit (and some sen)

5 favourite things in my favourite room:
that would be my bedroom
- my book collections
- a frame artwork from a friend from Canada (a painting of Gilles Villeneuve's Ferrari car)
- a frame poster of Sauber Petronas car (Nick Heidfeld in C20)
- shrek figurine
- Sauber lion

5 things I would like to do:
- live in Switzerland
- write a book
- have my own bookstore
- marry my first love
- go to all Formula One races

5 things I'm currently doing:
- fasting
- working (atm I'm wearing the admin hat for pitstop although I'm actually at my taska)
- thinking of the baju kurung that is still need to be sewn
- surfing Marina Mahathir's blog to know about Tun Dr M latest health condition
- thinking what to have for breakfast


I would like to tag Zahrin and Julie.

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Sebelum cahaya

Ku teringat hati
Yang bertabur mimpi
Kemana kau pergi cinta
Perjalanan sunyi
Engkau tempuh sendiri
Kuatkanlah hati cinta

Ingatkan engkau kepada
Embun pagi bersahaja
Yang menemanimu sebelum cahaya
Ingatkan engkau kepada
Angin yang berhembus mesra
Yang kan membelaimu cinta

Kekuatan hati yang berpegang janji
Genggamlah tanganku cinta
Ku tak akan pergi meninggalkanmu sendiri
Temani hatimu cinta

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You are my sunshine, my only sunshine...

I'm in a state of bliss.

I remember saying that I'd stop caring. Seems like He got other plans for me. Allahuakhbar.

And His timing is perfect.

I am not saying that I'll ended up marrying this guy. lol no!

It just that somehow he makes me feels wholesome. Not just some empty vessel.

He called today. Explaining his disappearing act.

I don't mind really.

Because I know no matter what, he's there.

Just knowing that fact, he already made my day.

Funny isn't it how he, who was insignificant 4 months ago are making a huge impact in my life.

With just a phone call, he can soothes my nerve, plastered a smile on my face, makes me spill everything out and feel much much better afterwards.

So babe, you make my day alright.

Thanks for just being there.

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