I don't have that many friends to begin with and I am totally find with it.
When I said friends, I mean people that I can share my feelings with, someone that connects with me. I know a lot of people nowadays thanks to the nature of my work but I won't call them friends, more like acquaintances. Sure we hang out sometimes but we don't really bother to know each other that well. It was all for the sake of being polite and civilized.
Those who I call my friends are mostly friends from highschool. They are the best kind, and I'm sure you'll agree. However, the number of friends I have kinda keep on decreasing over the past 4 years or so. Why? Here are some of the reason why I figured we have become detached to each other.
1. They get a girlfriend/engaged/married.
(c) AeonuSince majority of my friends are males (I only have 2 girl friends), when they started dating, automatically our friendship kinda take the back seat. Their girlfriends get jealous and I don't even know why. If I want their boyfriends, I would have them submit to me since the beginning, right? So when they get engaged and then married, we just drifted apart further. I don't want to be the cause of their problem so *shrugs*.
2. We no longer make the same amount of money
(c) Riku YamaThis reason pissed me off the most. Why must people feel inferior/superior with how much money they are making? I admit that I am kinda lucky in terms of my career and shit but that does not define who I am as a person. So when they throw that in my face, I was dumbfounded. They kinda made it feel like it was my fault that we drifted apart just because I am making more money. Fuck that, you assholes.
3. We get busy
(c) zouniEither with work or life. In my case, both. I hardly have time for myself anymore. I missed being (not) a (total) NEET. I do try my best though to meet my friends when I do have time to spare. In fact, next week I'm going to travel up north to meet a friend that I haven't met since January and the week after that I'm going on a trip with few of my friends. As for my friends, they already started their own family and some even have children of their own. Our priorities have shifted.
4. I changed job.
(c) cusonI used to work from home so I have a lot of time to spare. Since I switched job, being the devil's advocate and such, naturally I have to commit myself, especially if you kinda owned the company. I am practically doing three jobs atm. I still write as a free lancer, my dress-making business is still on and of course there's my full-time job. It's a crazy life.
5. Our holidays no longer match
(c) yanX-zhenBecause we have different jobs and priorities, we hardly get tto meet up during our holidays. Even during EID, we didn't get to visit each other. It is sad really especially when I remembered the many vacations that we took before.
6. I rather spend my time watching anime and writing
(c) zouzouI was a sociable person back in my early twenties. Then as I got more into anime I have become less sociable. When I was working from home, I pretty much caved myself inside my room and immersed myself with anime/manga at every opportunity, that or I write. Now I'm used to that kind of lifestyle so unless I am coaxed (read: forced) to sacrifice my anime watching and writing time, you won't see me socializing much.
That's why some of my friends argued that anime has changed me. Well, touche. If they have their children, then I have my anime. Right? I'msorite.
17 comments:
That's a pretty good spread of reasons. I wonder if some people are just better at making and keeping friends. I'm probably at the extremely bad side of the scale. I have a tendency to not make friends in the first place. Then, when I change jobs, or move, I fall out of touch quite easily. Fortunately I don't think I have ever had a falling out over money; that really sounds like a waste of time and energy.
With me is all the same, the highschool friends are together since...well..highschool (duh?!), but the college friends and work colleagues have all gone missing since the scholl/work ended...
One part of my theory about it is that when we are yonger we all are discovering ourselfs and the world around us, plus the fact we all hadn't money at that time, that's why the bounds we create are strong and truthfull.
The part of male friends getting girlfriends i can understand sometimes, but they all come back to me >:) it is very hard to find a girl that pratice sports, play video-games and watches anime, so they all call me when they want to do some of these stuffs that obviously their snoob girlfriends refuse to do.
The part of the money really doesn't make sense, because real friends would get happy for you if you're making more money, and plus, why would this be a problem, if you could now afford stuff not only for you, but for your friends also ?
The others motives are just hell excuses, learn to organize your time better my honey, or else you'd never forgive yourself for losing them all... =(
The last picture is actually the reason i went all the trouble commenting ;)
I couldn't be bothered with making new friends either. It's too much effort and I'm not good at it.
High school friends are special because of the reason you said, Thi. You don't have to put up a front with them.
My male friends will look me up when they have problem with the girlfriend/fiance/wife. I'm known as Dr. Phil among my circle of friends. The irony does not escape me though.
It isn't really about the money but they feel inferior about themselves. I know they are (kinda) happy with my success but it reminds them why they phail. Logical? I think yes, so it just saddens me more. Being successful is not about how big a car you drive or how big your house is. to me being successful in life is when you are truly happy. I am actually quite envious of them because they are married and have children of their own. I thought they are successful. Apparently we see things differently.
I know being busy is not an excuse but it's the truth. I guess I have to sacrifice my anime watching time in order to hang out regularly with my friends. Less of a tard, more of a friend?
Sacrifice your some of your work hours instead -- work less =P, it is the only logical way...
how to do it ? make an excuse to your boss , like , pain in the belly, say you are sick and have fever...or say you have something in the justice office or in court, or say you fell off the bicycle, or your car is broken... the posibilities for excuses to kill work hours are endless...
I have some childhood friends that I used to hang with, but with family and locations changed, so did we. I just moved back to my home state, but still 1/2 to 1.5 hrs away from them now. Been gone so long - not really much we have in common I think.
My wife hates the fact that I do not really have any friends to "hang" with and says I need to. I am fine without them, but do miss talking about stuff.
I guess the other issue is that I still love anime, manga and toys for someone in their mid 40's. Not really what "guys" my age are into and thus may look like an "old Perv" when I ask to take pics at cons. Thought mind you I am still carded for booze and people think I am much younger than I look.
I do have some work friends, but now I am switching jobs, that will have to begin all over again - sheesh
IF your friend said anime take up your time it just show you that they wanted your attention to them. Main thing is not to push people out of your life who is genuine concern about you.
"Get Busy"
I thought you were going to talk about sex, which actually could count as a reason. Once I had a bestest friend, then we had sex, and now whenever she sees me she starts climaxing uncontrollably, simply by catching my gaze. The constant, hard, knee slapping climax that she always has leaves little room for conversation, and she always passes out afterward, so we really don't talk anymore. Eventually, this interfered with her ability to work, and she moved away.
Or I might have made all of this up.
Thi, I'm kind of a workaholic. Or at least I want my work to be done and perfect. Since I owned part of the company, I guess I don't have a choice? LOL
I was on medical leave for a week last week because of the surgery and spent the day resting and watching anime. It feels like life kinda blessed you sometimes. And like I said I am going on vacation next week and the next week after that so yeah, I have no problem getting myself off work. I can come and go as I please anyway. I come at 11am and at home by 6pm unless I have meetings and dateline XD
@Bluedrakon, I am used to not having companions but lately I kinda missed my friends and hence the post. I hope I am still as passionate about anime when I'm in my 40's. Btw, good luck with the new job.
LEon, I didn't complain when they said they can't meet me because their children is having this or that or because their wives wanna go shopping and such. So yeah, I think it's fair. Heh but don't worry I don't push people that I care about.
Husband dear, that may or may not be my 7th reason >=D
I don't really fall into any of those categories...do I?
Anyway, you have a dress-making business? That's pretty awesome I'll have to admit. ^_^
Soooo, you usually watch anime in naught but your unders? XD
We haven't fallen out of touch yet, have we, Chester? ^_^ I started that business like 5 years ago and it is going well.
Not usually but often enough XD
I ditched my friends back when I started my site. Before my eyes went bad, these were the best years of my life. Friendship just doesn't pay off for me. Friends always want you to do stuff, and I want to do nothing.
Kinda true but you're Raptor. You eat your friends
Friends... They're so fickle and transient.
Friends.....well, ditch the fair-weather ones. I think I can count the numbers of friends I have with my two hands alone.
Be with who you want to be. If you don't like them, you don't have to be friends...
You're both speak some kind of truth, which is liberating and sad at the same time.
i dunno i am more or less at the point where i would like to give up my real life friends. i find it hard to get along with people from my walks of lifes without ending up with a headache. the overall lack of intelligence, apparent need of social, and mating; isn't something i like to do every night. i remember growing up and a bunch of my brothers friends were playing D&D those were the coolest people in my book. now it's all about nightclubs, fishing and a basic lack of anything mentally stimulating. i do enjoy dancing and haveing a good time once every few months, but people do this far to often, the ones that i hang with. they say that i can be quite a bore, when i believe in fact they are. i guess the word interesting has changes meaning once you turn 20. for instance did you know if china would have invented glass they would be 100's of years ahead of where they are now, i get no reply from my buddies. then a buddy might say how he slept with 2 women from last night and the room is full of chatter. i dunno.
Yeah, nowadays I don't have much to talk about with my friends. Whenever we meet, it's either we talk about their families or I got beaten down with personal questions. I'll marry whenever the fuck I wanna get married so shut the fuck up.
This is why internet friends are important I guess. They fill in the gap
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