Right. There is no delaying it anymore. I just have to do this to get it out of my chest, and preventing it from continuously taking the back seat inside my already crazy mind.
So yeah, the start of new year are not that great for me. Actually, that was an understatement.
The start of new year was actually so fucked up, I don't even know where to begin to pick myself up again.
Can you hear that unidentified sound? Yeah, that's the sound of me smashing my head on the wall. It's a miracle that it has not crack open yet. T__T
Am I really so laid back that I came across as a person who does not fucking care about anything?
*take a deep breath*
Dude, I do feel pain. I am just better at hiding it than most people. Called me guarded or whatever. It just how I operated.
Dude, I fucking bleed. I am just better at bandaging it up and act as if it will not leave a scar. It fucking will. I just don't want you to be worried.
Dude, I do get mad. It just that I know how fucking ugly I can be if I do. This fucking journal is a proof for that. So I'm sorry.
Dude, I do have a heart. It just that I keep it in a glass tank so when it does break, I will not miss any of the pieces so that I can be whole again.
Dude, I do crave happiness. I am human. If I am to be blamed for that, screw you. Oh wait, you already did.
Dude, bottom line is, I.FUCKING.CARE.
I have made my decision so you know what your next course of action is. Best of luck.
1 comments:
I really feel the same way tooo!!! *hugs you* I love this blog now I know I am not alone.-nathan ballah
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