Light Writing: A Poetry ~ Dude

Right. There is no delaying it anymore. I just have to do this to get it out of my chest, and preventing it from continuously taking the back seat inside my already crazy mind.

So yeah, the start of new year are not that great for me. Actually, that was an understatement.

The start of new year was actually so fucked up, I don't even know where to begin to pick myself up again.

Can you hear that unidentified sound? Yeah, that's the sound of me smashing my head on the wall. It's a miracle that it has not crack open yet. T__T

Am I really so laid back that I came across as a person who does not fucking care about anything?

*take a deep breath*

Dude, I do feel pain. I am just better at hiding it than most people. Called me guarded or whatever. It just how I operated.

Dude, I fucking bleed. I am just better at bandaging it up and act as if it will not leave a scar. It fucking will. I just don't want you to be worried.

Dude, I do get mad. It just that I know how fucking ugly I can be if I do. This fucking journal is a proof for that. So I'm sorry.

Dude, I do have a heart. It just that I keep it in a glass tank so when it does break, I will not miss any of the pieces so that I can be whole again.

Dude, I do crave happiness. I am human. If I am to be blamed for that, screw you. Oh wait, you already did.

Dude, bottom line is, I.FUCKING.CARE.

I have made my decision so you know what your next course of action is. Best of luck.

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how amusing... so I have to apologize.

well, meeting old friend always bring back memories. and oh boy was I not surprised with the things I've heard and learned tonight.

Damn man, if we both were not egoistic bastards, we would have been making babies like now! hahahaha oh wow, I couldn't stop laughing at that thought. Imagining mini you is too hilarious.

First of, dude, 4 years. That was how long we were in that shit and you still did not get how my freakish/selfish mind works? It is a wonder that you stuck with me for that long. I just have to pat your back and congratulated you. Job well done indeed. And forgive me, even if I have known the reason, the outcome would probably remain the same. There is no fucking way I let someone get away after fucking smeared me with that kind of shit. You see babe, I'm just too strong of a person and that in my opinion, why you could not be satisfied.

That and because I'm too independent and incapable of jealousy.

Fuck that noise.

If you didn't get it the first time around, meh... you won't ever get it.

But for real, forgive me for the heartache. I didn't know I was that fucking heartless. *chuckles*

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Anime: Winter 2008/09

These are the one I'm downloading:

Shikabanehime: Kuro
White Album
Minami-ke Okaeri
Maria+Holic
Zoku Natsume Yuujin-chou
Kurokami
The Tower of Druaga - the Sword of Uruk -
Asu no Yoichi
Bird the Mighty Decode: 02
Chrome Shelled Regios
Ride Back
Sora wo Miageru Shoujo no Hitomi ni Utsuru Sekai
Hetalia Axis Power
Afro Samurai Ressurection

The one in bold are the one I watch right away.

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Today is just not my day

So I started this morning with my neighbor's alarm blaring at 6:50am, waking the whole block.

Goddammit.

If the alarm went off like every hour or so, just fucking canceled it. No one will take it seriously even if a burglar really went in and run amok in your house! Morons >_>

But meh, because I was forced to be up this early, I decided to do my laundry and since I'm hungry and could eat a horse (only the tail, I've small stomach ^_^"), I decided to make my lunch as well (yeah, I had my lunch at 9am. so what?). While cutting up the chilly, I somehow lose my grip on the knife that I'm holding at it pretty much peel off the skin of my left forefinger. Ouch.

Headache starts to build up on my temple.

Fucking goddammit.

But never mind that. I am going to meet up with my friends in the afternoon. That was something to look forward too.

So I get ready and went out early. About an hour early. The reason: I need to buy some books. So I bought the book and decided to wait for my friends at Starbuck: I can read, get my tea and relax. However, there awas this kid who keep looking at me while I'm reading, like in front of my face every 2 minutes. At first I was like, hey there wanna join me? hehe haha but after a while it wasn't cute anymore. He was just being damn right fucking annoying. I closed my book and was about to leave when the boy smack the back of my head and went away to his mom giggling. I was like, what the hell you fucking retard! Yeah, all eyes were on me by now. I faced his mom and said: your fucking son smacked my head and you saw it! The hell woman, learn to control your fucking kid! Heh, his mom gave me the look and closed his son's ear. Gah, I almost spit on her face!

The headache was at that moment having a fucking party in my temple.

I met up my friends, get into the movie and my phone started to receive text messages like non stop. These people and their great timing huh? So i put it on silent mode.

Movie ended and we started to leave the theatre. I feel like something amissed but it was probably nothing right? WRONG.

I lost my fucking phone. It must have fallen out of my bag when I stood up to leave the theatre. I went back albeit knowing it would be futile.

Fucking jeebus goddammit.

So yeah, not my day at all.

I'm going to continue my experiment for today. I'm going to have dinner with my friends later and see if my misfortune will continue. Lets hope it does not for the sake of my friends' well being.

fingercrossed.

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someone... fucking poke me please!

fucking jeebus. I am up to my neck with this fucking depression! and I don't fucking know what I am depressed about. Fucking hell!

the fact that I locked myself in my room for two consecutive days (fuck work) does not help at all. Good god. When did my life turning in to one hell of a fucking soap opera?

*breathe*

damn it.

FUCKING BREATHE!






... I need a dose of DMC T_T

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Independant Day!

Yeah... right. Its the eve of Merdeka.

It has been 51 year of Independence for Malaysia.

Instead of celebrating it with pride and joy, I just feel like there is nothing to celebrate about. The country has never been in such chaos as it is today. The economy, the rifts between the people, the political turmoil... everything is so fucked up. Almost every blog I visited has some sort of racist slurred and what not. Seriously people, what the hell?

The younger generations will take the opportunity to go out partying, getting drunk and getting smashed. None of them even care what is was all about anymore. The older generations, will sat in a mamak restaurant, talking about this side who prefers the 'back door' while at the next table, there's this pak haji talking about how this side has his son-in-law's balls to fan. Even worst, they somehow will throw all this shit back to Dr. M.

I for one had had enough.

I stopped visiting such blogs (chedet is the only way to go), and try not to listen to all this smart asses talking about corrupted political figures.

I am not going to wear my "happy mask" and go out to celebrate something that I don't believe in.

I call a mutiny!

And fuck I don't want Anwar to replace him either! Apa punya haram, dok kutuk melayu kat rally orang cina dan bila dah habis berucap boleh dok peluk2 cina.

Shiyal punya manusia.


Selamat sambut Merdeka, people of Malaysia!

Happy 51st Independence Day!

Yeah right >_>

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