Aku no Hana

It has been a while I got this excited for an anime. In fact, I can't remember the last anime that got me all worked out like this. Needless to say, I think Aku no Hana is a very awesome anime. I definitely recommended it to everyone.

A Year Older: Again

It’s that day when I got another level up in life. I’m turning a year older again today. So many things have changed in a course of a year. I read what I wrote on my birthday last year and I almost choked with laughter at how ridiculous everything sounds.

Goodbye 2012 and Hallo 2013

So overall, year 2012 has indeed been kinder to me. I have achieved what I set out to achieve but most importantly, I unexpectedly found love which is easily the highlight of the year for me.

Light Writings: Love II

I need an outlet to express how I feel nowadays. To be honest, things are going too good for me at the moment to the point that I am sort of living in fear for I do not want these extremely good feelings, and the love I have for him to end. If all these are gone tomorrow, there is a big probability that I might lose sanity.

Light Writings: Crush II

Welp, looks like we are having this conversation again after so many years. Well 2 years and 3 months to be exact. The last time I wrote about my crush, I was in a different state of mind where I know it can be nothing more than just that, a crush.

27 May 2007

Monaco GP


McLaren Mercedes drivers Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton scored a dominant one-two in Sunday's mainly sunny Monaco Grand Prix, but Felipe Massa was happy to salvage third place - and the only other unlapped runner - to keep his and Ferrari's championship hopes alive.

The McLaren pair were in a class of their own, finishing a whole minute ahead of their rivals. In a largely processional race of just three retirements, the McLaren pair were content to claim first and second, even though Hamilton suggested that he had the quicker car at the start of the third stint. But then he pointed out that he had number two on his car, and was thus the second driver. Ferrari's second driver, Kimi Raikkonen, was handicapped from the start after hitting the barrier in qualifying, starting sixteenth on the grid, and claiming a single point with eighth place at the end.

At the start, the two McLarens shot straight into the lead which is where they would stay, as would third place Massa and fourth place Giancarlo Fisichella. But Nick Heidfeld picked up two places to head Williams's Nico Rosberg, while Rubens Barrichello also picked up two places to hold seventh from Mark Webber who lost two places in comparison to his grid position. Raikkonen moved up four places on the first lap to hold 12th.

The opening stages were marked by Alonso leaving Hamilton behind, the British driver being mainly shadowed by Massa, who pulled away from Fisichella. These four were left on their own as Heidfeld desperately held up Rosberg and Button found Webber and Kubica queueing up behind him

Webber became the second retirement when he lost third gear which cost him eighth place. That was just before the first fuel stops. Fisichella was the first in from fourth place on lap 23. Alonso and Massa pitted on lap 26, the Brazilian changing to the softer tyres and taking it easy early on as they had showed a tendency to grain. Hamilton came in on lap 29, having expected a five lap advantage over teammate Alonso, but found that it was only three.

It meant that Alonso's lead was still 4.2s over his teammate when they rejoined. Massa, however, was 21s behind and would lose more time in traffic. Heidfeld was initially fourth, ahead of Fisichella, until his one pit stop just before half distance, which left Barrichello fifth, pushed by Kubica, until the Honda driver pitted on lap 37.

Massa's only drama had come on lap 30 when he missed the chicane at the swimming pool exit which cost him a couple of seconds, but he was still losing time to the McLarens. He was over half a minute behind when Alonso pitted on lap 51, followed two laps later by Hamilton. Massa came in a couple of laps after that, as did Fisichella.

Now came the only real threat to Alonso's lead, as Hamilton closed onto his tail, but he dropped away again with 18 laps to go, and the pair cruised to the chequered flag. Massa's deficit grew by 15s at the pit stop, so that he emerged 47s behind Hamilton, a margin with again grew to 65s by the end.

Fisichella was a lapped fourth, while Kubica was fifth and Heidfeld sixth. Alexander Wurz scored his first points of the year with seventh, while Raikkonen scored a single point with eighth, ahead of Scott Speed and the Hondas.

The result means Fernando Alonso and Lewis Hamilton are equal on 38 points in the World Championship although Alonso has two wins to Hamilton's zero. Massa has 33 points, with Raikkonen another ten points behind.

McLaren Mercedes have 76 points in the Constructors' series, twenty ahead of Ferrari, while BMW Sauber are another 26 points behind.

source: Ferrari Press Office



18 May 2007

the light of god

Astaghfirullah
I beg forgiveness of Allah

La illah ha illallah
There is no God but Allah

Al Fatihah (The Opening)
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;
Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
Master of the Day of Judgement.
Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.
Show us the straight way,
The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace,
those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray


14 May 2007

the other side of things...

Earlier on it was anger that driven me to write the previous entry. Apparently it rubbed certain people the wrong way. They found it hard to get pass the swearing.

It was unfortunate but at that moment that was exactly how I felt. I was more mad at myself than at that person. I was angry at my carelessness. I could not believe that I had go and done it again. There are a tinge of resentment and bitterness but that can't be help.

It was a shame though if those people failed to see what I was trying to convey. Apparently they do not know me as well as I thought they do.

I am a tough cookie made from soft dough.

It is true that I foolishly allowed my heart to get broken yet again. The damage will be permanent. Yet I could not find it in my heart (probably because it does not exist anymore) to stay angry for long. The pain is still there but I am sure in time it will disappear gradually. The scar, however, will remain forever.

I always known that falling in love will eventually brought me more grief than bliss. That was why once upon a time, after I had experienced the wrath of it, I was adamant not to be a victim ever again.

Yet, fate is a funny thing. When I was starting to rejoice and enjoy the single life, there came a knock on my door. It was hard for me to open the door and let this person in. The effort was tiring but in the end you rip what you sow. It was a pleasure and I do not regret making the decision to let him enter.

My fate turns out to be cruel as well. The relationship does not last for some reason or the other. However, we remain as friend and stay close.

Until recently when things started to turn sour.

This person pissed me off with the way he treated me as a friend and the fact that he admittedly say that he wanted me to taste my own medicine. I am sorry to say that his mission is a big success.

But since he is a good friend, tried as I might, I could not stay mad at him. After much liberation I have come to realize that at the end of the day we are both adults. Although it hurts like hell, I took it as Divine Preordained: we are just not meant to be.

He deserved all the happiness in the world and I wish him the best of luck.

I just hope it is not too late for us to put the humpty dumpty back together again. Hopefully this relapse episode does not affect our friendship.

He is after all nonpareil.

This is the end of the road for me. No more romance junctions. All I can see in front of me are dead end streets.

p/s: 1) I have done some modification in the previous entry so it is now rated U. huhuhu. 2) The accuracy of my entry sayang, kaseh dan cinta is now can't be denied.


13 May 2007

so the drama ends...

aku dah cakap dah, aku dah cakap...
fuck. fuck. fuck.
everytime ended the same way
fuck!!!

i knew i should not have bothered.

considerate? appreciative?
i have tried both
still the result was so fucking noxious...

i allowed myself to be vulnerable
i let my guards down, my ego plummeted
what do i get in return?
as expected...
only sorrow, grief and heartache

this is dé·jà vu
although the damage is more severe

i must have misjudged certain things along the way
making mistakes that i regret
saying things that should not have been said
foolish me aye?
allowing myself to be fooled
and for forgetting this life's hard lesson...

thank you for the reminder
thank you for the felicity
thank you for the anguish

even after all these
to me you are still nonpareil

alas, 'tis the end


Spanish GP


Sessi kelayakan yang berlangsung semalam adalah antara yang paling mengujakan apabila peminat Formula One dihidangkan persaingan yang sengit antara pemandu McLaren dan Ferrari. Massa mencuri perhatian penonton tempatan daripada Alonso apabila beliau mencuri petak pertama dari genggaman dua kali juara dunia itu. Alonso terpaksa berpuas hati di petak kedua. Raikkonen dan Hamilton pula berkongsi barisan grid kedua.

Perlumbaan terpaksa ditangguhkan selepas pusingan pemanasan apabila kereta Toyota Trulli menghadapi masalah di grid. Beliau akan memulakan perlumbaan daripada pit.

Sebaik sahaja kelima-lima lampu marah padam, Massa meluncur laju menuju selekoh pertama dengan Alonso rapat dibelakangnya. Alonso terbabas apabila beliau cuba untuk memintas Massa sekaligus memberi laluan kepada Hamilton dan Raikkonen untuk memotongnya. Kubica, Heidfeld, Coulthard, Kovalainen, Rosberg dan Barrichello melengkapi tempat kesepuluh teratas pada pusingan pertama.

Terdapat insiden di belakang grid antara Wurz dan Schumacher. Kedua-dua kereta mengalami kerosakan dan memaksa mereka kembali ke pit. Malang bagi Wurz beliau tidak dapat meneruskan perlumbaan.

Pasa pusingan 7, kereta Red Bull Webber menghadapi masalah hidraulik. Beliau mangsa kedua Grand Prix Sepanyol.

Pusingan ke 9, kereta Raikkonen pula menghadapi masalah enjin pada kereta F2007 beliau manakala tayar belakang kiri kereta Speed meletup sebelum selekoh pertama memaksa kedua-dua pemandu ini bersara dari perlumbaan. Kini Alonso mempunyai laluan bebas dihadapannya untuk mengejar Hamilton dan Massa.

Kedudukan 10 pemandu teratas pada pusingan ke 11 ialah Massa, Hamilton, Alonso, Kubica, Heidfeld, Coulthard, Kovalainen, Rosberg, Barrichello dan Button.

Barrichello pemandu pertama yang masuk ke pit untuk pitstop rutin pertama beliau di pusingan 18 kemudian diikuti oleh Massa dan Alonso.

Massa kehilangan beberapa saat di pit apabila kereta beliau terbakar seketika dek kerana tumpahan minyak berlebihan semasa pengisian semula. Massa kembali ke litar di tempat keempat.

Pusingan 19 giliran kereta Liuzzi pula mengalami masalah dan beliau masuk ke pit sebelum bersara dari perlumbaan. Coulthard memasuki pit untuk pitstop rutin pertama beliau di pusingan ini.

Pusingan 22 giliran Hamilton untuk pitstop rutin beliau. Walaubagaimana pun beliau tidak dapat memintas Massa apabila kembali ke litar dibelakangnya.
Kereta Heidfeld mengalami masalah di pit apabila salah satu nut tayar kanan hadapannya tidak dipasang dengan betul. Salah lollipop guy kerana mengangkat lollipop terlalu awal sebelum segala kerja pit selesai. Sayang sekali kerana strategi pasukan BMW Sauber untuk Heidfeld adalah baik sekali untuk pelumbaan ini.

Kedudukan 10 pemandu teratas selapas pitstop rutin pertama ialah Massa ditempat pertama diikuti oleh Hamilton, Alonso, Kubica, Coulthard, Kovalainen, Rosberg, Barrichello, Fisichella dan Sato.

Kovalainen pemandu pertama masuk ke pit untuk pitstop rutin kedua beliau di pusingan ke-30. Sebelum itu beliau bersaingan dengan Coulthard untuk tempat ke-5. Kereta Renault ketika ini jelas sekali lebih pantas dari kereta Red Bull Coulthard.

Christijan Albers melunaskan penalti kerana memandu melebihi had laju di pit pada pusingan ke-34.

Kedudukan 10 pemandu teratas pada pusingan ke-44 ialah Massa, Hamilton, Alonso, Kubica, Coulthard, Rosberg, Kovalainen, Barrichello, Fisichella dan Sato.

Massa masuk ke pit untuk pitstop rutin terakhir beliau pada pusingan ke-41 dan kembali ke litar dibelakang Hamilton. Selain daripada Massa, Barrichello, Coulthard dan Fisichella juga masuk ke pit untuk pitstop rutin masing-masing. Walaubagaimanapun Fisichella terpaksa masuk semula ke pit kerana Renault tidak mengisi minyak yang mencukupi untuk menamatkan perlumbaan ini pada pitstop rutin kedua beliau.

Schumacher mangsa keenam Grand Prix Sepanyol apabila beliau terpaksa bersara di pusingan ke-45. Kedua-dua pemandu Toyota tidak dapat menamatkan perlumbaan kali ini.

Hamilton mendahului perlumbaan Grand Prix Sepanyol sehingga beliau masuk ke pit pada pusingan ke-46 untuk pitstop rutin terakhir beliau. Tempat pertama kembali diserahkan kepada Massa. Sementara itu Heidfeld masuk ke pit untuk bersara sebaik sahaja Kubica selesai pitstop rutin keduanya.

Pusingan ke-48, giliran Alonso melakukan pitstop rutin keduanya dan kembali ke litar seperti sebelumnya di tempat ketiga.

Kedudukan 8 pemandu teratas selepas pitstop rutin kedua ialah Massa, Hamilton, Alonso, Kubica, Coulthard, Rosberg, Kovalainen and Fisichella. Fisichella bagaimanapun masih belum masuk ke pit untuk pitstop terakhir beliau.

Fisichella akhirnya melakukan pitstop ketiga beliau dengan baki 6 pusingan perlumbaan. Beliau kembali ke litar di belakang Sato. Fisichella akan bersaingan dengan Sato sepanjang baki perlumbaan untuk memintas Sato bagi memungut mata terakhir perlumbaan. Walaubagaimanapun usaha beliau tidak membuahkan hasil.


Massa berjaya menamatkan perlumbaan di tempat pertama dari petak pertama. Sekali lagi beliau menunjukkan kematangan beliau sebagai pemandu. Ini adalah kemenangan kedua berturut-turut untuk beliau dan Ferrari musim ini dan empat kemenangan peribadi sepanjang karier Formula One beliau. Hamilton di tempat kedua manakala Alonso terpaksa berpuas hati menamatkan perlumbaan di hadapan peminat tempatannya di tempat ketiga.

Kini rookie dari Britain, Hamilton mendahului Kejuaraan Pemandu dengan 2 mata di hadapan teman sepasukannya Alonso dengan 30 mata. Massa pula memintas teman sepasukannya Raikkonen untuk tempat ketiga dengan 27 mata.

McLaren pula mendahului Kejuaraan Pengeluar dengan 58 mata sementara Ferrari ketinggalan 9 mata dibelakang mereka. BMW Sauber masih teguh ditempat ketiga.

Pusingan terpantas semasa perlumbaan dicatat oleh Massa dengan catatan masa 1m22.680 saat pada pusingan ke-14.

12 May 2007

A survival journey to Sabah

May 6 - Alhamdulillah I have arrived safely at Tawau Airport, Sabah at approximately 1530 hours. The weather was not ideal for flying thus I got a terrible jet lag. I’ve been trying to suppress the urge to puke since the plane took off.

I went straight to my aunt’s house at Taman Wawasan, Tawau. My first outing was to Tawau CityClub for dinner. By the way, the tour for the rest of the town took less than 15 minutes.

May 7 - I was feeling under the weather on my second day in Tawau. Probably I miss the people back home more than I thought I would. I did not go anywhere since my stomach flipped every time I tried to get up. I spent my day finishing the book I brought from home: Sleepers. Yep, the true story from Lorenzo Carcaterra which by the way had been adapted to the big screen to become one of my favorite movies of all time. But I’ll save the review for later.

My theme song for the journey: Bila Engkau Jauh by Shanon.

sedapnya hati tidak jemu tak sabar bermanja
hanya sehari tak bertemu macam selamanya
rindukan tawamu yang menyegarkan ku

aku terseksa dengan sendu bila engkau jauh
bila terasa sentuhanmu aku terus sembuh

aku bermimpi riang terbang pagi sampai senja
cinta dihati sudah kembang untuk engkau saja
tidur atau jaga rindu sentiasa

aku tak pernah bercinta sampai terbalik seluruh duniaku
hanya satu yang ku pinta, jangan tinggalkan aku

aku merayu oh kekasih belailah hatiku
bila ku layu lagi sedih curahlah kasihmu
kau dakaplah aku sembuhkan pilu ku

jika kau rasa sepertiku bila aku jauh
biarlah dua jadi satu bersama selalu
hanya kau dan aku

May 8 – This is my third day in Sabah. Alhamdulillah no more weak stomach.

I checked in to Heritage Hotel at noon since my aunt and her husband were going back to Semenanjung. Starting from today, it is going to be an adventure for me, being alone in a place where I had never been before. Let see if I have the survival skills or not.

I am already halfway through my second book: The Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke. Since I am going to Semporna tomorrow, I thought of buying new books for my two days stay there, just in case if I get bored. So I went looking for a bookstore at the Tawau town. Believe it or not, I found none! It is kind of frustrating to actually know that reading is almost a non-existence habit to the Tawaunian. Luckily I am just visiting otherwise I probably could have died from boredom. If I had known, I would have brought more than two books with me for the journey. Thank god I brought my laptop along though.

As expected, there are few entertainments you can find in the town of Tawau. I am not talking about the club/pub/disco since you can find plenty of such places here. I am talking about a decent place to hang out. Like the bookstore, it is also almost non-existence.

I went to Pasar Gantung (all the merchandise kena gantung hence the name). The place took less than 5 minutes walk from the hotel. I am not so confident to venture deeper since I was alone so I only visited the outer layer of it stalls. I bought a complete set of pearl jewellery for my mom. Happy mother’s day, ma!

Next to Pasar Gantung is Parkwell, the most well-known shopping complex in Tawau. Hehe, I think Parkson kat Pontian dulu tu pun canggih. Parkwell ni kira standard Econsave la kalau kat JB.

Before I went back to Heritage, I stopped by Marco Polo hotel to try out their famous steamboat not knowing that they only served them on Wednesday. To compensate, I stuff myself with black pepper lamb chop instead. I was so damn full that it made me feel bloated for the rest of the rainy night.

The fact that someone completely disregards my phone calls did not make my mood any better...

May 9 – Day two of my survival journal.

Finish reading Dragon Rider as well. The review coming up soon insyaAllah.

I checked out from Heritage Hotel at noon and climbed on board kereta sewa (should really be called a rented van). Apparently I am not the only person who wants to go to Semporna. Besides me, there were four guys and a honeymoon couple.

I make new friends on my way to Semporna. I met Eddy, Zul, Faizal and Syed (from Pahang), the four guys I mentioned earlier. They were on their way for their annual vacation, this year it is to Pulau Sipadan. They’ll stay in Semporna for the night before continuing their journey to the island tomorrow. Eddy and Faizal are married, Zul is engaged and Syed is as free as his bird (oops, I mean free as a bird. lol). Coincidentally the four of them will also be staying at the floating Dragon Inn. I couldn’t be more grateful.

If it was not for Leah who was adamant that I should wear my bikini, and took pictures as a proof that I went to Semporna, I probably will not have the courage to be friends with these guys. I braved myself since I notice Syed got a camera with him (the things I do for you Leah!). He (obviously only the single man is allowed to bring camera) has no qualm to take pictures for you. Looks like my bikini was working on it charms with full steams ahead! Hakhak!

It took almost 2 and a half hour from Tawau to Semporna. Once we reached the Dragon Inn, they helped me settled in. After that the photography session started. Masa ni la air banyak tumpah. Wakakakaka!!

I went back to my cabin and was planning to get some sleep since I barely get a wink of sleep last night but after isyak, I got a dinner invitation from the four guys. Who does not want a free dinner right? Layan… at last dapat gak makan steamboat. I excused myself at around 8.30pm. Risau jugak since I just get to know them. Bukannya aku tak cayakan diorang, diorang yang tak cayakan aku, takut diapa2kan. Huahahaha!

I can barely open my eyelids while I am writing this.

So see you tomorrow. Good night.

May 10 – Happy birthday Nick Heidfeld!

I just got back from sending them to the dock. It is 10.08am. They have gone to Sipadan, a one hour journey from Semporna. I do not know if I ever going to meet them again… they are good guys and it is liberating to see them still bonding after so many years being buddies. I wish I had that kind of lasting friendship with my friends.

I thought of going skinny dipping - I mean diving - today but think better of it. I do not need to go far to see the fish. I can see them clearly from my cabin. The water is crystal clear.

Instead I will be spending my afternoon checking out their floating pasar. After that I am going to finish the Trinity Blood anime series on my laptop. I still have two other Gundam series as a backup to entertain me for the entire day.

This is the third day of my survival journey. It might turn out to be a boring one.

I am glad that I am going home tomorrow.

I need to settle another 'my life' drama that has started to unfold. Sucks...


May 11 - I'm home!!!

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